Posted on by MyBeautifulMigraine

Moms of Littles

Moms of Littles, you’re so busy right now: cheer practice, birthdays, sports, school projects, kinder orientation, holidays, playdates, bus schedules, quick dinners… to say nothing of your jobs and careers outside the home.

You look at older moms with wrinkles and kids in college, and you think: ‘that is soooo far off!’ I’ll think about that another day. As I did once… a decade ago. I remember vaguely… something about older children: “bigger kids, bigger problems,” sadness about kids going off to college, and more.

But at that time, I was closer to college myself than having a college-aged child! And I was so busy! My mother tells the story over and again: “I was so busy with children that the end of the day would come and I realized I hadn’t eaten anything!” Omg, I’ve heard that tired and dumb story SO many times.🙄 Well I had lots of children myself, and somehow whether it was the leftovers off their plates or granola bars in my purse, I never forgot to eat!🙄 But maybe mommy-ing in the 1970s was different than the 2000s?

The years have flown. I have more grays in my head and annoying, determined creases all around and under my eyes. Weight seems permanently affixed to my abdomen and I’ve removed my uterus as it was falling out of my body after many pregnancies and 40+ years.

The days are long, but the years are short.

Gretchen Rubin

My babies are all adults. They barely need us. They are studying for careers or working and married, starting families of their own. I post simple Facebook posts about their comings and goings and how much it means to this old mum.

And I pray they are okay. My prayers are general: for their safety, happiness, self esteem, good life choices. That they find life connections of love and support. That they know their parents and family is always a harbor of safety in a tumultuous sea of Life. Here is safety, and unconditional Love. They do not have to be anyone but themselves in this Home.

Moms of Littles, you will find yourself in this older mom role someday… will you remember someone, somewhere mentioning what it was like. 🥰

#happynewyear #momsofmany #mommytales

Posted on by MyBeautifulMigraine

Under the Blubber

My son is going through a terrible mental trial right now. It has affected his health, and he’s gained weight. He started slipping away and into a mask when he was 15/16. He is 22 now. I became quite alarmed during covid lockdown as he seemed to be getting worse – more distant and disengaged. We made him connect with a counselor in January 2020, and he admits she saved his life when we could not.

He has bottomed out as far as self worth. And it affected his college grades very negatively. He lost his major, he lost his job. But he is still facing each day and the demons of depression and anxiety. Friends and family have sent him encouraging letters, we’ve worked with him daily, weekly, with his self worth, screaming the message that he is worthy and things will get better.

He says he’s doing well with grades this semester and he continues working with his counselor. He is no longer self harming but has a lot of weight to lose – for his health and for his self esteem.

Tonight my mom asked how he was doing. I told her he wears his unhappiness on the outside. She said: “He really is such a good looking guy – under that blubber.”

Wow. Lady. I sometimes think my kids would be better off with no grandparents at all. Jesus, do people even hear themselves?

I’ve spent a lifetime trying to protect them, love them, learn about their unique souls, their dreams, their passions. I’ve tried to keep them alive and grow into good humans. All the while… I need to protect them from hearing horrible insults from people who are supposed to love them.

And my mother had WONDERFUL grandparents! They adored her and spoiled her. They were very special people in her life! How does that even make any sense?

Sometimes I lament aloud with my peers about how difficult life has been with my mother. I can always count on someone in the room countering my lament with something like: “Oh you are so lucky to have a mother! I would give anything just to have 5 more minutes with my mother.” (Because their wonderful mother died from a horrible illness when they were like 10, or something. *Roll eyes*) Gah, take MY mother! Please!

#Depression #Anxiety #mentalhealth #mothering