A revealing post from a year ago…

This is as good as it gets.

No more hope. Irrelevant and an obstacle for those near me, a burden they need bare. The world would be a better place without me.

I should be where others are not.

Perhaps it’s just my new chronic self. Perhaps the constant pain ebbing away my joy has turned me snippy, irritable. I’m just not pleasant anymore. I am irrelevant. I am a burden. I serve no purpose in this life.

I don’t say this for sympathy or reassurance. I say it as a matter-of-fact. 

I should be alone. Free the people I love from me.

The weather is stormy and killing my head. Kids are off school. Music lessons. Now at the dermatologist for daughter’s appointment.

Must keep moving despite migraine. Must. Keep. Moving. 

Smile.

Saturday.

Families and people are out living. Going to events, enjoying the weather, living life.

And I’m here. Ball and chain of Pain around my head. Tethered to my home and bed. A burden on my family.

I get up and putter around the house after resting: cleaning out a closet, changing a washload, putting things away that have been lying out for weeks. Every action feels like a marathon. (And there are people running marathons today!).

Tomorrow is a big day. We’ll have people over…Ken’s collegiate Overwatch tourney. I’ll need to be better for that. And I’ll need my house clean for it too.

Liberal whining by Hollywood celebrities reveals anti-woman bias – Washington Times

http://m.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/feb/15/liberal-whining-by-hollywood-celebrities-reveals-a/

My head. My back. It’s all screaming. Stop screaming. I need to live.