Must not forget the back

This odd and awful sacroiliac joint dysfunction and lumbar/sacral degeneration… is it from pregnancies, too many years compensating how I move? Is it from age or could it be related to my Rheumatoid? No one really knows. And solving its mysteries isn’t as important as treating it and living through it. At least, that is my doc’s plan.

Today was another Radiofrequency Nerve Ablation, right side lumbar 3/4. Marc drove me. I got admitted, saw anesthesia, Dr Michaud and was ready to go back to the OR.


I was developing a nasty migraine on the drive in… weather. It was weathering outside… the clouds were the wrong colors and the air was thick. By the time they took me back to OR, my migraine was at a 6.

I took my nap with Propofol and Fentanyl for 15 min. I used to do my back procedures without sedation. I was that strong.💪🏆 But I would get very nervous instead. Once another doc inserted the needle differently and I felt like I was being disemboweled on the table. Good times. My lord, that was a painful event! Also, I have a habit of vasovagal-ing right after the procedure: despite lying on a litter, my pressure drops ridiculously low, I’m covered in sweat and passing out. Idk why. I suspect the injections themselves have something to do with it. Anesthesia for the 15 min procedure and the required driver seem to fix all these problems.

I woke up fine. Got my favorite fruit punch juice boxes – 3! And some cheezits – 2! And Marc got me home before noon. The staff are the nicest I’ve ever met.

My sweet Boy Toy…

The Fentanyl was helping. But soon after getting home, my back started to burn and my migraine was ramping again.

I could tell my day was over. Medication, ice blanket for my back, ice wraps for my head, and bedrest.

I still managed to clean up after the Guinea pigs we’re pet sitting, change laundry, repeatedly scold teens for not doing their chores, and make dinner.

The storms rolled in a few hours later: violent storms… with lightning and loud thunder. We lost power for a second and our internet seems broken.

I’m back in bed. More medicine. And my head and back are crying mad.

I don’t love RFNA. I know from experience that the next few days will be really rough with terrible back pain. Then I may see some improvement.

In 2 weeks I’ll need to go back in for the other side. Sigh. 🙄

The absent friend

What’s worse than #ChronicMigraine ?
…when, despite treatments & medicines & rest & planning, I simply can NOT power through and do something I really, really, really want to. I simply can NOT get out of bed, not even crawl to an event I committed to & was looking forward to.
I am just so sorry… and just so sad. All I do is let people down. Why would anyone want to be friends with someone so unreliable, sick and …absent? It is terribly embarrassing and isolating. It’s just a shadow of a life.
I am just so sad. So sad …and so sorry.
djk #MyBeautifulMigraine

It’s the Fourth of July. We’ve been invited to a culdesac celebration. I can’t leave the bedroom. I’ve tried everything and I will never go to the ER. I’ve sent my family off to the party with my deepest apologies. It’s time for an injection of sumatriptan and phenergan and a mini coma. Time to close and lock the bars of my head prison and perchance sleep away this intolerable episode.

How many times can you cancel before people stop asking to be friends?

Stuck on repeat

Stuck on repeat, repeat, repeat…
My ice packs can’t keep up.
*O starz & O gartres!*

This has been a nasty nasty run… weather, allergies, whatever it is, it’s awful. Is my botox running out? Am I still trying to adjust to getting off the CGRPs? My head is a million degrees all the time, and the fatigue, malaise, and feeling like migraine crap.

djk #MyBeautifulMigraine