July 7, I posted on Facebook:

Disclaimer: Hey friends, I think I’m losing my s*** today; too many days with migraine and RA flare has me flailing – like I need a straight jacket and padded room. Please excuse the barrage of migraine-related posts. It’s unknown: I could break down in tears at any moment or stop breathing from Despair. 

36 botox injections of the head, neck and jaw scheduled for Monday…please God, let me make it til Monday.

Wishing you all a pleasant Thursday…is it Thursday?…seriously, sending love. It’s all I’ve got.❤

I wasn’t expecting a whole lot. Some words of comfort. When I checked the post later, I couldn’t make my way thru it…becuz it was absolutely overwhelming.

The responses…I can’t believe them. I feel completely unworthy and overwhelmed.

You know I’ve reread this thread. How odd that my own mother never posted a word or ever reacted to the thread. Hmm.

Life is funny that way. The people who truly, truly know how to love you… just do it. 

I feel God holding me.💜

Melissa Dwyer’s birthday is July 13. She would have been 26. Most people don’t believe Migraines kill; but Chronic Migraines, if mismanaged and discounted by medical professionals, along with the enormous social stigma and misconception that surrounds the neurologic disorder, can absolutely send even the strongest soul into a fatal Despair.

I speak out, tell my story, spread awareness for Melissa.💜❤💜 I live for you, Melissa. I know you’ve finally found peace; and I am so grateful your suffering has ended. But we wanted you to stay…there is more to life than this Pain. 

Marc came.

His first time meeting, Anthony Peredi, my sacroiliac NP specialist. Although I’ve been in the practice over a year and a half.

Apparently I reacted really well to my last injections; nerve blocks – immediate relief but only for a few days, then the pain returns with a vengeance. This is exactly what I’ve been going thru.

So… next step… get insurance approval and have radio frequency  nerve ablation, lumbar/sacral. It may provide some relief for 6-12 months. They do one side. Wait two weeks and then do the other. It requires sedation. It’s gonna be a bigger deal. I’m scared, I’m happy, I’m exhausted.

The ones you wake with are humdingers. Saturday morning. My left frontal lobe is under insane pain. Meds and ice…please help. Lying in bed…sipping coffee.

It would be a luxurious Saturday morning scene were it not for My Beautiful Migraine. 

#MyBeautifulMigraine #ChronicMigraine #ChronicThugLife 

Can I please just die now?

Please. 

Please.