https://themighty.com/2018/08/visiting-sick-friend-surprise-guest/

https://grownandflown.com/18-years-one-shot-parenting/

If I have to read another one of these🙄🙄🙄…ugh, I swear to God, I’ll never understand…and I am no stranger to depression, so you’d think I’d have more understanding and compassion.

I responded to my friend’s lamenting article today with:

“Our time together isn’t over. There will be the next phase and the next one and the next.”

And this is the BEAUTY of Life. The amazing adventure doesn’t end! There is so much more to come! As I wrap my arms around these big beautiful adult children, kiss them all over their face and tickle them (as only mums are allowed to do), my heart fills with pride and excitement and fear (there’s always that fear…I remember it when he struggled to breathe at 6 weeks old with RSV).
But there is SO much more to come…the BEST parts – when they become there own people! And I will always always have my sweet memories of kissing fuzzy warm baby heads, as well as enduring screaming exorcist tantrums with vomit.

They are never ours. Never. Just precious gifts given to us to care for and raise and love….for just a short time.❤

When my children were born…I was never hoodwinked into thinking they were mine. Only mine to care for, raise and love for a short time…for the time God graced me. My children are not my possessions…they are their own people…even from the time they were helpless little tiny humans with wise eyes that searched and stared into my own. They were not mine. Only my responsibility and my privilege. My privilege.

My time with these beautiful people doesn’t end at 18 when they’re off to college. There is no alarm clock that goes off, no running across an end zone. With God’s Grace, the best is yet to come…the adventure continues.

Every day is a gift. Every kiss, every touch, every song, every conversation, every “I love you.”

Do I think I’m “better than” these many, many moms who seem to struggle to “let go?” No. Absolutely, resoundingly and positively – NO. I have enough demons for thousands. I just do not understand this particular and common lament. I don’t get it. Have these moms just woken up one day and realized their children have grown? Did they miss the multitudes of birthday parties, back to school nights, dinners and more dinners, potty training months and months, endless shoe tying, homework help, and daily worries? I was there…everyday…living and experiencing every moment…the belly laughs, the oceans of tears, the repeating myself til I was blue…so many, many many gifts to me, their Mother. I knew what was happening…and I was preparing for it…every day. And maybe, possibly the reason it doesn’t rock my core is that I have so many spawn…four is a lot. But I realized when they were born that any less than 4 was too few for me. 😁

Maybe some day I will eat my words…maybe some day, someone will be able to explain this common phenomenon of sorrow? Until then..

My heart is so full …so full of Love and the adventure of Life.

Darn it, migraines love Fridays. Stress letdown. Now that I’m on Aimovig I don’t want anymore migraines. Lol. But wishing this one away isn’t really working.

So anxious today. Appt with my pain doc where I have to explain all the work I’m navigating to rebuild my pelvis. With my current team of Jukes/Le, I’m looking at surgery in August. Cystocele grade 2, uterine prolapse grade 3, rectocele grade 3 and a whole lot of gross plus indescribable lavator pain. Absolutely ridiculous.

I was anxious to see Anthony (pain doc), I was anxious about the 2 hour drive, and I’m anxious about our friends (family of 4) tomorrow for a week.

When I got home, I dropped into bed and my head exploded.

Always Friday Migraines. Party on.

Happy Chronic Migraine Awareness Day!❤💜❤

https://migraine.com/clinical/interview-dr-goadsby-expect-cgrp/

There was no migraine today. I’m 2 days post Aimovig injection. Of course this doesn’t really mean anything yet. But I’d just like to announce… that my head didn’t hurt this Friday (I waited until midnight to post…so not to jinx. Lol)
There was no migraine today. It took a break. It left me alone. I can move my eyes all around and shake my head gently, but everything feels GOOD. And that’s a Big Deal.
Normally I might say, “I’m ok” or “It’s not too bad” but today I can say… My head was Good.🌞
I’m still in bed almost the entire day because of my girl part’s agony and “hanging out” waiting for surgeons…but my head was GOOD.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
See you tomorrow!🌞
#ChronicMigraine djk #MyBeautifulMigraine #MAM #MigraineAwarenessMonth #Aimovig

#Aimovig is here!
BA & AA (Before Aimovig & After Aimovig)
Taking my first dose tonight.
#ChronicMigraine
djk #MyBeautifulMigraine

Update: The specialty pharmacy called.
My very own 2 month trial of Aimovig arrives Wed 6/20 via Fed Ex. It’s very hard to describe the range of emotions in my heart right now: expectation, hope, fear, caution, and so many tears.
I know no matter what, it’s not a “cure,” but I’ve *watched* and waited for this medication so long… If there is a way… if there is a chance… Anyway, thank you all for supporting me on my journey.
#ChronicMigraine #aimovig #CGRP
djk #MyBeautifulMigraine

Let’s learn about MIGRAINE! A neurological disorder, not a headache. A small percentage of migraineurs struggle every single day…enduring symptoms, recovering from attacks, enduring anxious dread for the next inevitable attack, and/or attempting to avoid their migraine triggers. Chronic Illness makes your world smaller and smaller…your daily obstacles are not only migraine-related, but the consequential oppressive depression and sneaky anxiety that accompanies any Chronic condition. It’s like watching your dreams, freedom, life slip through your fingers while you try desperately to hold on to who you once were. Every day, every hour, you have to think about your head. A little personal prison with metal bars accompanies you everywhere. I dream of opening the door of that prison some day. I dream of a world where I don’t have to think about my head, where I look to my right, my left, behind me…and there’s no evidence of that Chronic companion. Freedom. FREEDOM. Freedom to Live.❤💜❤ djk #MyBeautifulMigraine #MAM2018 #ChronicMigraine #speakyourmigraine #MigraineAwarenessMonth #patientsnotaddicts #ChronicIllness

https://migraine.com/living-migraine/tears-at-the-doctors-office/

https://migraine.com/living-migraine/my-dead-end-search-root-problem/

Well said.
Sometimes I wish the world understood this. After years and years and years of searching, trying everything, every angle, every bit of “advice” from friends….there’s this point of… Acceptance. It’s not a Hopeless place – not at all! (I still believe I will improve!) But it is a realistic place. I’ve tested my limits hundreds of times. I’m a friggin expert in my limits. I’m an expert about Migraine – especially my own “brand.” And I haven’t been sitting in my house the past decade just suffering. I’ve been a rockstar at trying to fix me. 🌟🌟🌟🌟

And I have a team of experts employed. The best I’ve been able to find. They don’t sit back on their heals either…they WORK for me. Constantly trying new therapies and angles. We have a cooperative relationship. Should they give up on me, it will be time for me to move on.

Healthy diet, yoga everyday, respect my limits, practice self-care. ♥️💜♥️