Sometimes I Just Don’t Feel Well, and I Don’t Know Why |

This is the most EXHAUSTING and FRUSTRATING part of Chronic Life. It started for me in 2010, I’d get to work and would be sleepwalking from 8 am until at least 12 noon. It was like the flu without fever and respiratory problems – just incredible achiness and complete exhaustion. Baffling, I researched and grilled my medical team. No answers. I’m almost 100% sure it’s related to Rheumatoid Arthritis and post/prodrome.

The most upsetting part is when I finally have a break from migraine, I want to do do do! But my body is made of concrete and I’m trying to move through quicksand.

Cefaly for Migraine

Thank you #cefaly #cefalyus for being the only #migrainedevice that helps me combat #ChronicMigraine
Drug-free, money back guarantee, now available in US without prescription… once you purchase your Cefaly, it’s yours to use as frequently as you need with no further expense (excluding electrodes) or prescription required.
Cefaly offers an intense counter electrical stimulation that combats #migraine pain and symptoms. It is compact, rechargeable and travel-friendly. While resting is the best during Cefaly cycle for me, you can also do minor tasks… like laundry. Not for use while driving a car. Then again, I cannot drive a car (safely) during a migraine attack either.
#chronicmigraineawareness #migraineart #speakyourmigraine #patientsnotaddicts #migrainedevice

Recognizing me.

Chronic Migraine … is an ocean you can’t swim out of. It is dark, unfamiliar room where you stumble over unknown objects and trip with arms outstretched – you can’t find the walls – and certainly not the door that leads you out. Is there even a door out in this dark room?

Chronic migraine … is the nightmare you cannot wake up from. It’s so long and real, you forget you’re dreaming.

The brief reprieve moments from symptoms are fleeting and often tainted by Chronic Migraine – like watching a beautiful sunrise through a filthy window and from beneath a dark veil over your face.

Chronic Migraine … invites itself in to your body – to your life and moves into the command center. It becomes a part of your whole body, your whole life, your loved one’s lives – dark and sinister – like mold spreading, like disease metastisizing.

Looking in the mirror … there are parts of me I can recognize … I can feel me when I laugh and when I’m having a rare moment of disease reprieve. I’m in this body somewhere … behind the dark under-eye circles, beneath the extra pounds, beneath the crap joints and the dark thoughts, relentless pain, and short temper. I can lay in a bed all day and not feel the least bit rested – just utterly exhausted. That amazes me everytime. I’m sooo bloody TIRED! Someone turn OFF the Tired, PLEASE!

Chronic Migraine … cannot erase me completely … although it seems that is its goal.

I push one bone-weary foot in front of the other. I’m skilled at log-rolling out of bed. I can identify medications with my eyes closed and in the dark by shaking the bottles – that one is a capsule, that one is a tiny pill. Like an athlete trains for their best physical performance, I know how to reserve and conserve my energy – for days – in order to accomplish the most basic life tasks.

I am a Chronic Migraine Jedi. Many years I have trained. The Force is with me and I am one with the Force.

#ChronicMigraine #migraineawareness #InvisibleIllness #Chronicillness #guiltandchronicillness #patientsnotaddicts #speakyourmigraine #spoontheory

What Dr David Friedman says…

“Sorry Folks!!

Viruses spread by many different routes including direct contact, indirect contact (from phone/surface to face), droplet, and aerosol (very low percentage).  They spread from many different sources including GI emissions such as diarrhea.  Not just from breath or talking.  Never before have I seen such irresponsible politics in public health.  UCSF “scientists/medical providers discussing the Rose Garden transmission event stated “gregarious people who talk a lot are super spreaders”  So shut up and put the mask on.  Don’t question!

They say we are in trouble because this “new” virus spreads asymptomatically!  They say a mask is protective for this and say schools and businesses need to limit capacity and that I can’t bag my own groceries (so now I have two hands touching my groceries (I really don’t care about the extra hands but think about it) and people to deal with as they call a bagger over for my safety)  Idiots!

They say an influenza vaccine (I take and will take the covid vaccine) is the best way to reach heard immunity and protect society each season even though as attached the majority of influenza is “asymptomatic”.  If you already had the flu ever, there is a good chance you would not get it again for a very long time as when you study repeated vaccination, the antibody titers return to pre-vaccinated status that was the original natural defense.   Masks in communities are not effective at controlling spread of influenza in years past. 

The flu disappeared this year with only 17 cases counted  out of 17000 in week 48 of our great year 2020. reference attached!  Likely lies though since it is often asymptomatic.  They only check for covid at the drive through or before elective surgeries. 

How does one virus that is asymptomatic in many people like flu disappear but the SARS-COV2 covid virus continues to burn wild? 

I have seen many viruses kill people while working in the ICU and doing ER medicine in years past 1996-2005.  I have intubated many virally-infected critically ill patients that you see in the news today. The patients did all the “mysterious” things the news presents to you now 20 years ago.  The ICUs are always over-crowded during winter.

As an immunologist, I would rather be vaccinated as this will better protect me, my family, and my patients from other routes of infection such as placing it in the eye, nose, or mouth.  A mask will not do this, but Dr. Redfield is an imbecile spilling lies just as Dr. Fauci is a lying, politician.  I hope Dr. Fauci chokes on his vit d, zinc, and Rigitoni!!

What we have here is a misrepresentation of public health that was constructed for some other purpose be it sabotage of the president( Don’t care about that) or creating a “new normal” that puts small business and education in the toilet.  I really don’t know.

So sorry for the mixed messages you have received!  So sorry you fear your friends, family, and neighbors more than you should!!  ( I know most of you don’t fear your friends or family)

Just as the Japanese convinced their population they needed to dominate and destroy others with their propaganda, the Germans taught their citizens to hate others through “eugenic” science.  This pseudo-science, infodemic, pettifogging bullshit to convince you to not gather during the holidays is harmful as many actions this year have been.  

Fauci just warned about Christmas gatherings even though they could conduct a mask trial to see if it helps (already done in Denmark with no help because of low transmission at the time).  So many opportunities to conduct prospective masking studies more than one year later.  Why haven’t they been done?

Why would the CDC director claim a mask may be better than a vaccine a few months ago?  Politics with the climate about Trump stating the vaccines would be out by election.  I don’t care about who is president as my chant is not “lock her up” “build the wall” or “build back better”.

My chant is “stay healthy” and love your friends and family this holiday season!  There is always risk getting together despite what the news and gov’t agencies tell you!  It is low as in years past.

Vaccines are modern medicine’s greatest triumph and understanding the risks and benefits, I encourage vaccine utilization realizing they are not perfect and some small fraction will have harm done to them by vaccine.  To not vaccinate a population would cause more harm in the long-run.

To believe this vaccine was rushed is also a misrepresentation again as the s-spike protein is a well-recognized foreign structure to the human immune system for thousands of years.  Its ancestor was about 10000 years ago and coronas are natural viruses.  In fact, most people who come across a low dose of s spike protein get “vaccinated” which is why there are asymptomatic cases. Soon there will be 100 strains of corona viruses just like rhinovirus and influenza that all efficiently kill the elderly.

At any time these bullshit artists in academia, politics ,and gov’t agencies can threaten you with misrepresentation of a real risk and destroy your family gatherings or your way of life.

TL:DR- CDC and NIH have been bullshitting you!   Sorry about this.

I hope you all have normal holidays and hug your friends and family.  I am sorry for those affected by virus.”|facebook&par=sharebar

The Angry Hunger

Day (I can’t remember) of this Migraine episode. Firing everything at it, but Migraine will not be denied. Every hour, it eats more away of me. Migraine is the Angry Hunger.

I woke out of a nightmare this morning with a level 9 on the migraine scale. Cracked my eyes open… it was lighter in the bedroom so I knew it was day. Couldn’t get up out of bed even though I had to pee. Too much pain. With my right hand I could reach into my night table mini pharma for a Maxalt. Took me awhile to get the blister pack open. Got the pill in my oral orifice and grabbed my water bottle to swallow it down… like a jagged little pill… it feels so good… swimming in your stomach. I needed to take 2 sips to get the Maxalt down and spilled water out the side of my mouth over my pillow.

But the migraine was so intense that I didn’t care at all about the spills.

Because I could not get out of bed still for an ice crown run, Cefaly would have to do. After waiting a few minutes… I was able to reach again into the night table mini pharma for my Cefaly. Somehow I got the wee machine on my forehead. And I sank back into my pillow and into my level 9.

The migraine was carving out the inside of right frontal lobe… from the top of my forehead, my eye and upper right sinus. Carving… carving… carving. My stomach flipped with nausea, my body… after 10 hours of sleep… completely useless and everything in pain. The Cefaly now starts to ramp up. My eyes are closed and I focus on my breathing. In and out. In and out. In and out. Let the medicine and Cefaly work. Relax and maybe fall asleep.

The Angry Hunger eats away at my everything: my life, my brain, my soul, my sanity.

#ChronicMigraine #migraineawareness #Migraine #chronicpain #patientsnotaddicts #InvisibleIllness #cefaly #maxalt

‘The reality of a life with chronic migraine means dealing with unpredictability.’ – Kat Harrison, The Mighty

Let me paint a picture for you. I’m walking through the grocery store and surfing the shelves for the perfect pasta sauce. I bend down to grab the just-right jar of marinara. The fluorescent lighting of the store suddenly feels too bright and I cringe when the overhead speaker blares the daily deli specialI manage to hobble through the rest of the aisles and drive home, but I’m instantly horizontal the moment I walk through the door. I’m now at the peak of what will end up being a 72-hour migraine attack. I have to call off work, cancel a doctor’s appointment and let my family fend for themselves at dinnertime. (I’ll spare you the details of that scary scene.)

The reality of a life with chronic migraine means dealing with unpredictability. I’m never sure how to plan and often feel like I’m sacrificing my routine for the sake of what might happen. It’s exhausting, especially since I’ve been living with chronic attacks for 17 years. But over the past decade, I’ve come to realize that I am given just one shot at life. It’s not the life I would’ve chosen for myself per se, but it’s the one I have and I’m growing more grateful to be here — alive and able. I’m doing the best I can and I would wager you are, too.

This reframing of my mindset didn’t happen overnight, and there are still a significant number of days where I can barely open my eyes to embrace the present. But I suppose that’s the true beauty of balance when you live with migraine — it’s not guaranteed but it’s possible to cultivate over a period of time. I still don’t have total control over my migraine, but I do have control over what my treatment plan looks like. I have to sometimes sacrifice productivity for rest, but the pendulum will eventually swing back in my favor.

My advice to you is this: trust the people on your medical team, advocate for yourself in moments of uncertainty and try to give yourself a break when your symptoms consumes you like the tide. Keep going, friend!

Stay Mighty,