Today’s doc appt…brought my Migraine with me.

Nice not to go alone to appointments. My migraine was with me. So bad that diaphoresis and nausea were also with. Made it through. Made it home. May the goddess of mini coma smile down upon me; there is a knife in my left frontal lobe.

Doesn’t Migraine realize I’m on Aimovig? Sha, it’s no longer welcome here.


djk #MyBeautifulMigraine
Son of a biscuit, some days I really wonder why. …but… If not me, then who?
Please be kind to those with #ChronicIllness, we aren’t victims, we didn’t want it…we didn’t ask for it…we’re trying to be well and trying to LIVE…and we aren’t ****ing addicts. There’s no party in my pill bottle, that I can assure you – just a lot of 😒 and πŸ€• and 🀒 and πŸ›Œ. Wanna try on my waiting room shoes?😁
There’s a knife through my frontal lobe, on the verge of barfing, weakness, vertigo, unable to focus, trouble speaking, throbbing and more throbbing, and this sliver of light and whispers of noise…like serrated daggers.βš”
Just breathe. Breathe. Slowly in. And slowly out. Relax every muscle, release every tension, allow the pain to move in and flow out. It does not control me. I am still breathing. I am floating on clouds, completely relaxed. I acknowledge the Pain but it does not control me. I am breath and consciousness and love. Love is everlasting, Pain is temporary.
Be well, good humans🌞

Watch “#ChronicMigraine Aimovig injection, month 3” on YouTube

Unfortunately, I’ve noticed soon after my Aimovig shot, I get a pretty significant migraine. Boo. But overall, I’m pretty convinced it IS helping!

Aimovig is definitely helping! Altho it’s too early to really make that call.
I’m definitely having painfree and symptom free time. Right now is tough: my botox is OUT and due on Monday and I really need a filler up. Also, either by happenstance or side effect, I seem to get a significant migraine soon after Aimovig injections. So tonight I’m in bed, medicated and iced and pretty miserable.

I am so grateful to see some improvement with Aimovig. I think I may be getting 50% improvement at this time.😁

The Lament of Growing Children

If I have to read another one of theseπŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„…ugh, I swear to God, I’ll never understand…and I am no stranger to depression, so you’d think I’d have more understanding and compassion.

I responded to my friend’s lamenting article today with:

“Our time together isn’t over. There will be the next phase and the next one and the next.”

And this is the BEAUTY of Life. The amazing adventure doesn’t end! There is so much more to come! As I wrap my arms around these big beautiful adult children, kiss them all over their face and tickle them (as only mums are allowed to do), my heart fills with pride and excitement and fear (there’s always that fear…I remember it when he struggled to breathe at 6 weeks old with RSV).
But there is SO much more to come…the BEST parts – when they become there own people! And I will always always have my sweet memories of kissing fuzzy warm baby heads, as well as enduring screaming exorcist tantrums with vomit.

They are never ours. Never. Just precious gifts given to us to care for and raise and love….for just a short time.❀

When my children were born…I was never hoodwinked into thinking they were mine. Only mine to care for, raise and love for a short time…for the time God graced me. My children are not my possessions…they are their own people…even from the time they were helpless little tiny humans with wise eyes that searched and stared into my own. They were not mine. Only my responsibility and my privilege. My privilege.

My time with these beautiful people doesn’t end at 18 when they’re off to college. There is no alarm clock that goes off, no running across an end zone. With God’s Grace, the best is yet to come…the adventure continues.

Every day is a gift. Every kiss, every touch, every song, every conversation, every “I love you.”

Do I think I’m “better than” these many, many moms who seem to struggle to “let go?” No. Absolutely, resoundingly and positively – NO. I have enough demons for thousands. I just do not understand this particular and common lament. I don’t get it. Have these moms just woken up one day and realized their children have grown? Did they miss the multitudes of birthday parties, back to school nights, dinners and more dinners, potty training months and months, endless shoe tying, homework help, and daily worries? I was there…everyday…living and experiencing every moment…the belly laughs, the oceans of tears, the repeating myself til I was blue…so many, many many gifts to me, their Mother. I knew what was happening…and I was preparing for it…every day. And maybe, possibly the reason it doesn’t rock my core is that I have so many spawn…four is a lot. But I realized when they were born that any less than 4 was too few for me. 😁

Maybe some day I will eat my words…maybe some day, someone will be able to explain this common phenomenon of sorrow? Until then..

My heart is so full …so full of Love and the adventure of Life.