mybeautifulmigraine

I wake up quite suddenly at 0500. There is a squeezing in my brain; fluctuations all throughout that head. I’ve felt it so many times before but I always doubt myself… It is The Superpower: Detection of Barometric Pressure Change…there are Fluctuations in Weather Patterns…Storm Systems passing through.
The Squeeze  is accurate, of course. But I’ll go on doubting myself everytime I feel it. Cuz I’m a Freak.
Soon it’ll be time to get up and have a Friday…run around getting errands done pretending to be Normal. Phoney. That head squeeze is getting angry…it may be time for a breakfast of meds. Nom nom nom.
But maybe I can hold off; maybe I’m just imagining it all…

The poem that hangs near my bed:

My Child

You are the poem
I dreamed
of writing.

The masterpiece
I longed to paint…

You are a
shining star
in my ever
hopeful quest.

You are my child…

Now to God I give
thanks for I truly
am blessed.

It hurts so bad. Part of me begs for a bullet to the brain.
I wanted to live today. I had plans to live…

There are no vacations from Chronic Migraine. But I refuse to let it control my life and my family’s life. Life is happening and RIGHT NOW! Thankful I have some decent migraine tools.
Can you see it? Can you see the Migraine? If you passed me on the street, would you know my head is splitting in two?
#invisibleillness #MyBeautifulMigraine #ChronicThugLife #ChronicMigraine

They carry me; these beautiful kind people – my family – are my strength when I have none. ❤

Chronic cough.
Shall I add that to the #ChronicThugLife list?
Hacking, productive, violent daytime coughing for the past 5 months. Thought it was allergies. Have been on antibiotics, steroids, inhalers, cough meds, allergy meds. It doesn’t change. Two chest x-rays are clear.
Back to see my PCP today. She is kind, thorough and smart.
Rx: antibiotics, Medrol pack, another chest x-ray, cough med and … A Pulmonogist.
Another specialist.
She asked if I’d ever seen one before. No, I haven’t.
I have neuro, endocrine, rheumy, GYN, pain specialist, ortho, derm, psych NP, LLC.
Now… pulmonary.

I have no words. Just many conflicting emotions. My, that is a beautiful Texas Laurel tree.
Love to the Warriors. Apply lipstick. Attack Life.