Dealing with another *thing*.
I’m confused.
And I’m facing going back to work.
It’s of course, the perfect job for me. Substitute school nurse for my kids’ school district (1 HS, 2 MS, and a bizzilon elementary schools. Lol)
This would be so easy if I didn’t love being a nurse… Or if disability were coming thru a little faster… Or if I wasn’t on immunosupressing meds… Or if I didn’t have a large family I love and feel responsibility taking “perfect” care of… Or if I didn’t struggle with daily chronic pain… Or if my loving husband didn’t give me MIXED messages… Or if I wasn’t a confused and screwed up feminist who instead of feeling empowered to do WHAT I want feels GUILTED into doing EVERYTHING.
I’m trying NOT to think. I’m trying to just take one day at a time.
Why am I even talking about it? Like, will I take anyone’s advice over the SCREAMING GUILT tapes in my messed up head???
I’m so depressed and hurting emotionally.


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