Getting real tired of your shit, Migraine.
Someone…Please….A crowbar to my brain.
I just don’t know what I have left…In bed finally. And what a dumb day. A nothing day. I woke w migraine. I medicated and rested. I cancelled one meeting to recover. I showered and got pretty and went to therapy @4. The wind is whipping around the cedar. Just a few minutes outdoors and I’m coughing and hacking like it’s 1810 and I’m dying of consumption. My head just can’t put together any pain-free time without meds and rest. I’m existing on vapors.
I stopped at the pharma on my way home but my maxalt is delayed becuz they didn’t have enough stock. 9 pills? Reeeeaaalllly? Whatev. I’ve been eating triptans more than usual becuz my brain is almost always in migraine re pollen, weather, cough, hormones.
I had a Costco dinner I could throw in the oven tonight. It was actually a nice family dinner – all of us – probably the last time since Ken and Courtney go back to college on Sunday. We had the Family Feud playing and we were all laughing and eating.
Moments…Life is just Moments. We don’t get any other luxuries.
After dinner, I retired to my bedroom where I could suffer in silence…My gas cramps (from hormones), my migraine, my hacking cough and my fat rolls. I feel like such a failure as a wife. All I do is ask Marc to give me shots (Humira tonight) and get ice. And my kids? I’m like a shadow of a mother to them. Just a shadow…Sometimes there, often dark.
Shadow Mother. Half Life.
Mini coma, please. I dare not list the medications prescribed and required since my sister in law’s ugly low blow attack on me in November.
Plans for tomorrow include: doing laundry, freezing some crockpot dinners, getting Ken ready for second semester, and prepping for my college friend’s visit: Sat eve to Tues AM (I gotta turn up the jam for that!). There will be lots of driving for my friend Nancy…Gotta drive to San Antonio Sat (1.5 hours each way) to pick her up, drive into Austin Sunday (only 30-40 min each way) to show her sights and then drive to Waco on Monday to visit Chip and Joanna’s Magnolia Market silos (2 hour drive each way). Marc will drive Nanner bananers to the airport on Tues AM. We haven’t seen each other since 1994 and I love this girl to pieces! She’s so easy to talk to, our husbands are so similar and we have kids the same age (she has one boy and girl). I’m really looking forward to her visit.❤
And now, my good and caring friends, I will cease my ramblings and apologize for your reading all this.
If I could just get a break on one thing – like less gas cramps – that’s not too much to ask???
Anyway. I love you all. I’m able to live with your help and guidance. God bless you all – good and restful night sleeps, princesses of New England.
Cedar is kicking ass here. It brings on migraine, cough, sore throat, itchy eyes, nasal congestion and horrible fatigue.