Day 3. Meds are failing. I’ve even resorted to my emergency meds.
Sometimes I get this bright idea to describe what I’m going through… like maybe people will find it interesting. And then I think: 🤔 Who really cares?
This episode began Friday and I posted it on social media:
I was able to take most of the day, pull it together and show up for my kids’ production that night
I can’t really scan or search the theater when I’m migraining (or ever)… it’s too big, too bright, too many people. But thankfully, some friends approached me and I could connect with them. 😊
One mama had seen my post from earlier: “How are you doing?” she asked, hugging me. “I’m better… for now. Thank you so much for asking.” “I think about you all the time, you’re so strong,” Shannon said. This leaves me breathless a moment, stunned by kindness and I can feel the tears prick at my eyes. “I don’t feel very strong. But thank you. It all feels like a time and life suck… and so utterly ridiculous.”
The next day was the worst. There was no way I was attending the show. My migraine was an 8. The meds that weren’t failing were only bringing me to a 7. I stayed close to bed… puttering throughout the day… a little here and there. I showered and dressed.💪 But I could not go anywhere. As I fell asleep last night, I felt hopeful the migraine episode would break overnight.
Well… not so. I woke at 8 with a knife in my left brain, stumbled to the freezer for ice, threw back a maxalt and went back to sleep. At 11 I woke again. The maxalt had failed; migraine still there. It’s at about a 6-7 today. My body is burning up, a fine blade still lodged in my left brain. I have aphasia, confusion, lethargy, I’m incredibly short tempered and nauseous. My life is lying in this bed. It’s confounding. It’s ridiculous.
Tomorrow it will break. I’m sure of it.🌞