When I was diagnosed, I didn’t know how much my life would change. There’s no conversation about that foggy space between the common cold and terminal cancer, where illness won’t go away but won’t kill you, so none of us know what “chronic illness” means until we’re thrown into being sick forever.
But most of all, your relationship with yourself changes. You grieve a version of yourself that doesn’t exist anymore, and a future version that looks different than you’d planned
Talk about it. And then talk some more. It’s real and it has no place, no conversation, no rationalization in our world – until we finally make one for it. Someday. You can’t just rest it a day and recover or shake it off and hop back into your life. You can’t exercise and change your diet OUT of it. It never ends and likely won’t kill you, but you will think about dying from sheer grief and guilt. Chances are you know someone who is battling Chronic something …and trying to make and live a semblance of a life. It sometimes takes years to accept what is happening – your body is betraying itself, despite kale and essential oils and Himalayan salt. In the analogy inspired by a friend: it is a bitter pill to swallow, where once I was a sexy/sleek Dodge Charger, now I’m a beaten up Ford Pinto.😕 (But I don’t wanna NOT be a Charger!! Wah! If will alone could heal me…)
If you ever need support, education, understanding …I’m here for you.
With love and no judgment,