Sunday night migraine… 13 days late on #BotoxforChronicMigraine because of COVID19 Shutdown and my neuro’s decision to close the office. 13 days ago at my telemed appointment, my neuro said she’d write me a script for the new migraine abortive med Ubrelvy. It’s still stalled at Austin Neurocare for prior auth and has been for over a week. 🙄 I’m starting down the familiar emotional road of feeling ABANDONED by my neurologist. #abandonedpatient This is an uncomfortable and upsetting feeling.
Never in 9 years of Botox have I even been ONE day late for injections. Botox is cumulative. So there’s a nagging question… with all these delays in treatment, will botox require a few treatments “to catch up” to therapeutic levels? I vacillate between moderate pain and symptoms to desperate despair to embarrassment to glimmers of hopefulness to runaway anxiety to resolve to horrific levels of pain and symptoms where my head is on fire, my teeth are brittle and raw nerves and my jaw feels like steel that might snap. I’m not really “myself.” Just a very solid shadow hanging on by fingertips.
My husband and I just had an interesting exchange tonight…
Me: I was in so much pain before, crying and moaning.
Marc: when was this?
Me: After dinner. Just about an hour ago. I was laying here in bed in so much misery, rocking, goaning, crying, not wanting to go on, but now the medicine is helping a bit. Did you not HEAR me? You are right there next to the bed!
Marc: (scoffs) Oh… I thought you were just moaning in pain… like you used to do when you were in labor.
Me: Yes… well I’m glad we cleared that up. Sorry again.
(Like I used to do in labor!? Childbirth labor, as in the most PAINFUL experience in the world? And that didn’t alert you that I might be in incredible pain? Or trigger something inside you… like, Idk, an emotion of concern… or care? Just… wow. Okay. Nice.)
If I just died here tonight… it wouldn’t be a bad thing. Migraine at a 5-6 but my jaw and teeth… omg, they are so brittle and in so much clench pain. My head is a thousand degrees. And my sacroiliac is having a tantrum.
This is a day I break my own rule and ask… WHY. Why. Why. Why. Why.
T storms tomorrow. My roots grow deep here in bed.
Love to all❤
#ChronicMigraine #MigraineAwareness #SpeakYourMigraine #BotoxforChronicMigraine #CMA #CMAware