Thank you @lacielajoie
Dear person that I was…
The COST of Migraine
I rested several days for yesterday; I was so excited to LIVE. I took a Reyvow Thurs night and woke up OKAY on Fri morning at 8 AM! Drove to my daughter-in-law’s to float the San Marcos with her and her friend. It was absolutely sublime!
After, I made it home to quick shower off turtle river smell and dress for dinner with our good friends Meg & Albert at Ling Wu.
We had drinks and AMAZING cuisine and wonderful togetherness.
When Marc and I arrived home, it was time to start treatment for the migraine that would come.
Today I woke at 9:30. It’s 1 PM now, I’m medicated, have ice on my head, and heat on my sciatica/back. I will not be moving from this bed.
…and it got me thinking about the COST of Chronic Migraine… do people understand the COST?
Chronic Illness Truth
Truth is humbling and embarrassing. You get it when you *get it.*
I remember in my later 30’s when I felt my normal life slipping away, a Saturday where I suddenly could not complete my weekend to do list – collapsing in bed face first I wailed dramatically to my Marc: “What is happening to me!?”
#ChronicMigraine #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #CMAware #ChronicMigraineAwareness #RA #ChronicPain
Piercings for Chronic Migraine
Another favorite thing poisoned by chronic illness
I used to love going to bed at night.
Now… I’m realizing – for quite a while – I dread it; it makes me anxious. Because I’m so terrified of waking up feeling like crap the next day. It just hurts my soul and destroys my joy.
I look back on my day in which I’ve accomplished nothing – often not even getting out of PJs.
To manage sleep, I must always address the pain I’m in at present: heating pad in the right spot, pillows propping the best ways, and ice in place on my head.
I dread the pain and exhaustion I will wake up with. The uncertainty – will tomorrow be like today – pain, disappointment, dragging my butt around trying to get SOMETHING done – maybe put away some clothes or straightening a room, run an errand to UPS, work my biz … in between flopping around like a dead fish in my bed for essential rest and recovery.
My RA has been flaring – a couple of days ago, I tried to pick up my mug of coffee, and my hand failed… coffee flooded everywhere. And it made me so sad. This was a new and awful experience for me. And I was mentally broken cleaning up the disaster of a “hand fail.” And, of course, since my new Neuro switch, I’m 2 weeks late on my #BotoxforChronicMigraine so – yeah, my migraine has been a bastard.
I work hard on granting myself and my body GRACE as I lie here, trying to fall asleep: my hands and feet ache, my head hurts, and my lower back pain and sciatica are screaming. Every muscle and joint is impaired.
I know oblivion will eventually come. And I’ll sleep. And I’ll dream. But then I’ll open my eyes up in the late morning to another day of chronic illness and pain. And I’m anxious about how hard it will be.
Another joy chronic illness has poisoned.
A small prayer: may we all have a good day tomorrow. 🙏🏼
Good night and happy dreams. Sleep tight.
Moms of Littles
Moms of Littles, you’re so busy right now: cheer practice, birthdays, sports, school projects, kinder orientation, holidays, playdates, bus schedules, quick dinners… to say nothing of your jobs and careers outside the home.
You look at older moms with wrinkles and kids in college, and you think: ‘that is soooo far off!’ I’ll think about that another day. As I did once… a decade ago. I remember vaguely… something about older children: “bigger kids, bigger problems,” sadness about kids going off to college, and more.
But at that time, I was closer to college myself than having a college-aged child! And I was so busy! My mother tells the story over and again: “I was so busy with children that the end of the day would come and I realized I hadn’t eaten anything!” Omg, I’ve heard that tired and dumb story SO many times.🙄 Well I had lots of children myself, and somehow whether it was the leftovers off their plates or granola bars in my purse, I never forgot to eat!🙄 But maybe mommy-ing in the 1970s was different than the 2000s?
The years have flown. I have more grays in my head and annoying, determined creases all around and under my eyes. Weight seems permanently affixed to my abdomen and I’ve removed my uterus as it was falling out of my body after many pregnancies and 40+ years.
The days are long, but the years are short.
Gretchen Rubin
My babies are all adults. They barely need us. They are studying for careers or working and married, starting families of their own. I post simple Facebook posts about their comings and goings and how much it means to this old mum.
And I pray they are okay. My prayers are general: for their safety, happiness, self esteem, good life choices. That they find life connections of love and support. That they know their parents and family is always a harbor of safety in a tumultuous sea of Life. Here is safety, and unconditional Love. They do not have to be anyone but themselves in this Home.
Moms of Littles, you will find yourself in this older mom role someday… will you remember someone, somewhere mentioning what it was like. 🥰
#happynewyear #momsofmany #mommytales
Today I cried…
… because of pain.
Chronic illness and pain is stupid horrible. I don’t know why my RA is flaring… is it the change of weather? The tiny joints all through my hands and feet are screaming. My head has a frightful constant ache.
Today is a day to rip off the calendar, crumbled up and throw away. Ice on my head and heat on the back. I don’t have enough pain medications. Maybe I could take an epsom bath and just go to sleep…
This is what I normally look like…
I don’t want to do anything exciting like walk, shop or take a trip. With chronic illness, I just want to be able to clean my house, make a meal, feed my dogs and make my bed.
But I can’t get out of bed to make it. Bonnie licks the salty tears off my face.
Life with RA
#RA #RheumatoidArthritis #Chronicillness #LifewithPain
Chronic Illness is everything
Truth is humbling and embarrassing. You get it when you *get it.*
I remember in my later 30’s when I felt my normal life slipping away, a Saturday where I suddenly could not complete my weekend to do list – collapsing in bed face first I wailed dramatically to my Marc: “What is happening to me!?”
Piercings with my girls today! I love a piercing to represent each year I have been chronic… my little way of making an Invisible Illness, visible.
#ChronicMigraine #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #CMAware #ChronicMigraineAwareness #RA #ChronicPain
Happy Birthday!
Most birthdays just melt right into the next… but I was hoping 50 would stand out. Lol. That’s for sure! Here’s the story:
We’ve been a little sick for a week: runny nose, cough, scratchy throat. Covid home test neg! Fever started yesterday. I thought Marc was silly for testing AGAIN this evening.
So we decided to head to the ER for some treatment… both of us in our 50’s and me with my chronic conditions and compromised immunity…
No wait at the ER and nice staff. They swabbed us again, took brief histories and agreed to prescribe Tessalon Perles and Paxlovid! Hooray! Now to find a 24 hour pharma WITH some Paxlovid stock! (Joe only purchased 20 million doses for the country!)
The ER staff informed us that the Walgreens at William Cannon had stock yesterday… so we called to check while driving there and – YES! They had stock!
Script filled in 30 min and we were on our way home to start our antiviral!
Our symptoms are pretty mild, compared to some influenzas I’ve had in the past. Sense of smell and taste intact. Guess it was only a matter of time before we got the Rona. Maybe our vaccines and booster is helping but I can’t WAIT for the next Gen of vaccines, personally. Although we’ll have Natch Immunities now which will be awesome! We’re taking zinc, vit D and baby Aspirin, besides Loratidine, NSAIDS, and nose sprays.
Most birthdays just melt into the next! This one will be memorable!
#thebig50, #birthdaycovid, #happybirthdaytome, #covidpositive, #paxlovid, #Chronicillness, #immunocompromised, #ChronicMigraine, #RA
mybeautifulmigraine 