I just set up an appt for EMDR for Chronic Migraine. The gal sounds pretty cool. She trained with a dude in N Cali who worked in an ER and was able to bring patient’s migraines from an 8 to a 0-3 by using EMDR, breath coaching, neck trigger points and cranial compression. She takes my insurance. She believes much of the migraine pain is exacerbated by the associated feelings of guilt and anxiety. I see her May 3.

So… I’m pretty excited. I’ve done EMDR before and I like it. But … I’m feeling a little uncertain about her claimes. And 8 to a 0 with no meds? Pain is caused by guilt? I gotta tell ya…I’ve had migraines a very long time. And her words made me feel a little bit like “it’s all in your head.” I don’t like that feeling. Even now, it’s storming outside …My head is a wreck – just a storm of pain and medicated pain. I’ve taken a Maxalt and Norco and the pain is only a 4-5 now. But my head is so hot. And I know the migraine is still holding onto me tightly. I’m very calm. Puttering around this morning. Feeling some gut relief so I’m thrilled to shower.

But…In the back of my head…I’m feeling shamed.

I will go into it with 110% effort, support of friends and faith and an open mind.

This afternoon, I went to my scheduled medical massage. I was in so much gut pain, that I had to interrupt the session twice. Pain and pressure. But I started having a panic attack. Then the tears started…I had to leave. Lisa was very understanding and kind. I was balling and apologizing. One of the worst experiences ever. Back on bed at home. Migraine this AM and so much pain and feeling AWFUL.

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